[Evening: WALTER WHITE is working on a batch of blue.  BATMAN enters from the shadows.]

Batman: (In a Christian Bale-like guttural growl) Are you Heisenberg?

Walter White: (amused) I guess it all depends on your perspective.

Batman: I asked you a question, punk.

Walter White: No, it was a joke.  It’s a reference to the Heisenberg Uncertainty—(shrugs, shakes his head) never mind.

Batman: Where are the drugs going?

Walter White: …Why are you talking like that?  Are you tweaked?  Did a bad batch rip up your throat?

Batman: WHERE ARE THEY?

Walter White: OK, just this once, I am going to suggest you calm down.  I have done… things… of which I am not proud.  And those things have made me someone you do NOT want to mess with.  I am the one who knocks!

Batman: I’m Batman!

Walter White: Knocks!

Batman: Batman!

Walter White: Knocks!

Batman: BATMAN!

Walter White: KNOCKS!

Batman: (INCOHERENT GRAVELLY GARGLING NOISES)!

[JESSE PINKMAN enters the lab.]

Jesse: Yo, Mr. White, how’s the latest… whoa, who’s this moron?

Batman: Do I look like a cop?

Jesse: No… no. I didn’t… I didn’t say you’re a cop.  Is this guy high?

Walter White: I really don’t know.

Batman: I’ll tell you who I am.  Albuquerque doesn’t have a hero.  You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.  And the heroes in this town have all lived long enough to see themselves become villains.  And I’ve seen them, too.  Becoming villains, I mean.  So now I’m going to be the hero.  Not the hero the city needs, but the one it deserves.  Because the one it needs isn’t me, because I’m not that kind of hero.  Because I’m dark.  Like this city.  Which is also dark.  So it deserves a dark hero.  Which is me. Batman.  I’m Batman.

[ROBIN enters from the same shadows as BATMAN.]

Robin: Hey Batman, I know you told me to wait in the car, but I was getting bored, and I was out of Munchos, so—

Jesse: Who is this kid?  Is this kid with you?  Did you make him dress like this?! DID YOU HURT THIS KID?! I swear I’ll—

Batman: SWEAR TO ME!

Walter White: Shut up shut up SHUT UP!  I am in charge here!  Now get out of my lab and LET. ME. COOK.

Jesse: I’m sorry.

Robin: I’m sorry.

Batman: …I’m Batman.

- Greg