May 2012
24 posts
10 Uses for Vodka
Drinking
To disinfect a jelly fish sting
Drinking
Apply as an astringent to clean your face
Clean your eyeglasses
Kill the mildew in your shower
Consume and attain the ability to fly
Drinking
Soak a bandage in it. Remove bandage with ease.
Make people more attractive
Use 1, 3, or 8 to achieve 10.
7 sounds made up but it is.
I’m tired.
"Of all of our inventions for mass communication,...
A picture says more than one thousand words…
Welp. How about like 9 pictures?
If my math is correct, and I’d like to think that it is, that makes…carry the one…4.2 million words.
So here’s my life over the last like 6 months or so, in 9 pictures, or 4.2 million words.
Awesome sushi!
Long-ass train rides to and from NYC!
Live performances!
Donkey!
...
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The Story of My Fifth Anniversary College Reunion,...
Friday Morning: Eyestrain (Me)
I woke up at 4:30 in the morning in Chicago. I had attended a work event the night before, and I was scheduled to take a redeye flight back to LA to attend my reunion. Sleeping on the flight was difficult, so instead I read the second half of Steve Martin’s novel On Beauty, which in addition to ostensibly being about beauty (as well as being about a being who is...
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Tweet Adventures - Hashtags and Dragons?
Today I wanted to go for a walk during lunch, but 5 minutes later it began to rain. Tweeting my sad predicament, my good friend Fritzer started to play a game with me via Twitter. Based off the concept of older “Text Adventure” games, he would describe each step of my adventure and let me know the consequences of each choice I made. After 2 hours we probably annoyed a number of people...
The Cover Letter
Today marks one year of full time employment for me since graduating last May. This time last year, understanding the plight of the unemployed, I shared a killer resume guaranteed to get anyone a job.
But I realized that although I gave you the greatest resume in the world (you’re welcome), I overlooked sharing my pearls of wisdom when it comes to the cover letter. Your (now awesome)...
Everyone Loves Blueberries..
Just some laughs for your Monday night. Not sure why this video is so funny, but it is.
-Molly
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Superhero Press Conferences, Part II: The Avengers...
Iron Man: Thank you all for coming here today. I would like to begin by thanking you all for agreeing to meet us here in Stark Tower. I know it’s a little windy. Sorry. Those walls will have windows again soon. Just… try to stay away from the ledges. And the gaping holes in the floor.
We will now take questions. Yes?
Journalist 1: Captain America, you seemed to be directing the efforts down...
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Alan Rickman Will Be Playing Ronald Reagan in a...
“My fellow Americans, I’m pleased to tell you today that I’ve signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing when I count to three. There will not be a four.”
- Greg
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Drinking by Holiday Charts
Using the REALometer (Randomly Estimated Alcohol Likelihood) I have generated the average alcohol consumption surrounding several notable American holidays.
VALENTINES DAY
As soon as February hits, people who are single begin drinking more and more while the world reminds them they are alone. That is until February 15th hits and they realize it’s just a stupid holiday. Also a decent amount...
WatchMisophonia. Or, Why I’m a Crazy Person. Misophonia is a form of decreased sound tolerance characterized by extreme and irrational reactions when exposed to sounds, and occasionally visuals, that most people ignore or experience as background, i.e. chewing noises or tapping. For me, it’s loud eaters. People that chew with their mouth open, enjoy their gum like they’re a cow in...
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If Captain America and Mariano Rivera Got in a...
Today, Joss Whedon’s The Avengers came out, and Mariano Rivera’s nearly twenty-year career in Yankee baseball may have ended due to a knee injury. Consequently, I’ve been thinking about heroes a lot.
As a kid, I was a huge comic book nerd, especially for the kind of shining knights who joined the Avengers. In my room, I had posters of Iron Man and Captain America, the former drawn by my father...
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Cheer up (with pictures)
We all know what it’s like to have one of those days. Where everything should be going right and then…
But it’s times like these we need to pull ourselves together and make the best of a situation. Because, let’s face it, worrying does not help. So have your moment of being sad, let it all out, and then remember…
It may get worse before it gets better…
...
Things that creeped me out as a kid and continue...
Men with long fingernails. In elementary school, we had the same photographer each year for picture day. He had long nails with a pinky nail exceptionally longer than the rest. What did he do with that nail in his spare time? AND WHY IS HE USING IT TO NOW PART MY HAIR? ^ NOT OK ^
Zeke the Plumber. Salute Your Shorts. “Let’s see what else you...
The Art of Douchebagger?
So I heard on the radio about a book that came out a few years ago titled:
A**-hole-ol-o-gy
I’m not kidding. Click away. Be amazed.
It’s literally a guide to “help” men learn how to be giant dirtbags towards woman, who will in turn go home with them at the end of the night.
Here’s an excerpt from the back cover of the book:
To truly be an a-hole is an art form....
Come see me play in Smithtown!
For you tumbling peeps out there who are in the area in the vicinity to the closeness of the residing neighborhood that makes up Smithtown - I, Joe, shall be playing at Sertino’s Cafe in Smithtown this Friday May 4th from 7-9 PM!
Here’s the event page on Sertino’s website:
http://www.sertinoslongisland.com/events.htm
They have great food, great drinks, and from 7-9 this Friday...
